Thursday, January 20, 2011

Research Progress?

It is nearly 12 AM and I have been sitting on my bed trying to do "research" for the last couple hours.... the result? I feel like I accomplished nothing. If any of you have tried to conduct research you know that this happens A LOT. Slowly but surely I am getting used to it. 

Usually research subjects are vast and do not have the information easily accessible; hence they are being researched. So it takes a painfully long time to get things organized and sift through the ocean of knowledge. Most of the time I feel like I am drowning in this ocean of Kuchipudi. Searching for something about Tarangams, hoping it floats to me. Instead, I have been finding many other interesting subjects to take me off track (and if you know me well you know how easily I get distracted).

The fact is, this 9 month Fulbright grant is not enough time to do the work I set out to do. The worst part is, I am 5 months in with nothing substantial in my hands. What does this mean? Crunch Time!!! [Teja freaks out]

Other Fulbrighters have mentioned that there is a point midway through you project when you feel like.. oh shit?!? what have i done?!?! what i am doing?!?!  But you don't have to be a Fulbrighter to feel this way, everyone does at some point during a big project. I have hit that point. I think I am passing over it now cause I have figured out how to deal with it: small goals.

I never knew how to set small goals until recently. I still haven't mastered the art. Sometimes my goals are too big (like learn Sanskrit), sometimes they are too small (like withdraw money from atm) and sometimes they are just right (like blog at least once a week). So I am sticking to my "just right" goal right now.

If goals are too big then you end up swimming, actually treading, for your life, because you have nothing to hold onto. It is not so bad if goals are too small, but the problem with this is then you end up having 200 small goals to finish and you don't know which to accomplish first.

Another problem I have is: after starting on a goal and making some satisfactory progress, I move on. I start with the next goal and forget to finish the first one! Someone please tell me how to solve this one..... its really getting to me. :-p

Okay, other than the business of goal setting and swimming in knowledge. I attended the International Symposium on Kalapas at Central University today. I got a chance to see Gollakalapam performed in Nattuvamela Tradition and Bhamakalapam in Kuchipudi Tradition.

I finally managed to put into words why Kuchipudi has not become and will never become as popular as Bharatanatyam. Kuchipudi as a dance form is so tied up with language and literature. It is not just a collection of movements, but an enacting of the literature. This dependency on language limits the audience and hence lessens popularity. After all, no one can enjoy watching Gollakalapam without understanding the spiritual and philosophical meaning behind the dialogue.

Since the now generations of Telugu speaking people cannot even fully understand these dialogues, there is no feasible way for the dance form to continue existing as it is. It saddens me to admit that the era of "real" Kuchipudi has come to an end. But I am positive with great effort we can modify and change the traditions to create something enjoyable to the modern audience. Whether or not we get the blessings of "traditional" Kuchipudi artists and gurus remains to be seen.  

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